2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
