The brown eye won't let me do that either.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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