My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
