I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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