conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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