I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
