Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
