maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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