Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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