Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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