Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
