Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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