She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
