The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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