my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
