my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
