Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize