don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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