Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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