Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
