Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry about my life...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
