porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
