i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
