Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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