some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
