i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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