make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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