Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
