And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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