Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
