The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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