I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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