garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
