AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
