Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize