Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
