please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
