now i know why i became what i already was.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
