I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
