i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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