She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
