I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize