He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
