I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
