i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
