actually, I'm a sock model
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
