Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize