Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
