My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You have to summon your inner elephant
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize