Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
