Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
