white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
