Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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