My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
