why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
