that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
