Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize