; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
