i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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