wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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