this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
