he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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